Have you ever worked for, or with, a sociopath?

It’s believed that four per cent of our population are sociopaths. That’s four out of 100 people walking around with no conscience. Scary thought!

I’ve met one (that I know of). Unfortunately the one I met, I  worked for. And it was nothing short of hell.

It started simple enough. New boss hired, seemed to be pretty open and willing to learn about our operations and how things worked within the company. Personally treated me quite well. Continually told me often how valuable my input was and what a great job I was doing.

After about six months in, she began to take functions of my position over and dismissed any input I had. She began touting me as a problem employee and started monitoring and tracking my work and hours. She’d tell me I didn’t know what I was doing and rip apart any work I’d do. Let me point out, as a long-term employee with this company, I had never been anything other than a valued employee by previous management. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I’ll fight for what I believe in. Where others on our team left, I chose to stay on and fight for my job.

Here’s ten things I learned working for a sociopath:

• Keep an electronic record of everything: Meeting notes, emails, work assignments, conversations. Sociopaths are chronic liars. Unless you can prove what they’ve said they will lie. They’ll still lie with proof, but you now have proof. 
• Have any work requests validated: Document exactly what you are being asked to do, when the deadline is and any other vital information to the request and then have them sign it off. Again, they will lie and say that’s not what I asked you to do and use it against you. 
• Record one-on-one meetings: Behind closed doors, a sociopath does not hold back. I’ve been screamed at, told I’m stupid and laughed at when I told her she couldn’t get away with that treatment. If you record the meeting they’ll likely behave and if not, you will have a record of it.
• Get professional help: I truly believe this is what helped me and enabled me to get those that matter listening to me. Sociopaths have a way of making you truly believe you’re incompetent. With professional help I was able to see it was her problem and not mine. I was also given the tools to return to work, regain my self-confidence and deal with her on my terms.
• Resign: If all else fails and everyone is supporting the sociopath, leave. They easily charm the ones they need to making it difficult for anyone to believe you. It is not worth your health, well-being or loss of self-confidence. Just move on.

• Ignore warning signs: I dismissed warnings from others to watch out for her. After all, she was treating me well (in the beginning). Then I started to notice how she was treating those around me and others that worked for her. I noticed how she’d subtlety imply how a co-worker was not doing their job. I noticed her belittling other peers around me. But, by then it was too late, she was already on a path to take me down.
• Try to take them down on your own: I mistakenly believed that my unionized organization, along with my past performance and reputation would be enough to dismiss all her accusations and lies. I didn’t want to involve others. As soon as you begin to realize what’s going on, involve their manager, other team members, ombudsmen and whoever else in the organization that deals with workplace issues. Bring them all together in one room and confront the sociopath before it’s too late.
• Get your back up: Don’t get emotional around them. Don’t ever let them know how you are affected by how they treat you. Smile, talk nicely and pretend all is good. If they see you’re upset or angry, they will manipulate you.
• Accuse them: Sociopaths do not like to be told they’ve done anything wrong. They will deny and lie about anything you say. If you are going to accuse them of anything, you must have it documented —  they’ll still deny everything, but you’ll have it documented. 
• Try to beat them at their own game: Do not try to outsmart them, you don’t understand their game and you will lose. 

So, you may be wondering how it all ended up?

I was one of the lucky ones that “won.” If you can call it a win. I was an emotional wreck for a good six months after it was over and have issues with my teeth from grinding them so badly during that time. However, after she “resigned,” I worked for more than five years with no other issues with management until I retired.

As for her, she continues to work two to three years, at most, before moving on to her next gig. I expect that trend will continue.

Have any of you ever been bullied at work? Do you have pointers to add?